ON THE ROCK ALARM
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Usual Rock Alarm Suspects:

CECIL & MARGARET	FRANK TALK

September 2, 2010

It's "Eat Atlantic" Day. The challenge is to eat only Atlantic food all day long. Kate is going for  breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks of Frito Lay chips washed down with various bottles of local wine!

That got the Rock Alarm talking about cooling up the name of the farmers. They figured you could get more young people working the land if you changed the name of the profession to "crop crumper", "food dude/dudette" or "land pimp"...... see........

August 31, 2010

Colin and Kate are a little sore this morning. Yesterday they helped to deliver over 22,000 lbs of donations to the 10 Valley foodbanks. They want back rubs and something cool to drink with a curly straw... could they be bigger babies? There was only 570 boxes to move with some weighing upwards of 70lbs each.

During the Food Drive....Colin and Kate did a few stupid things --- dancing for food donations, getting wet for food donations and then there was this challenge from Frank. Can you eat the melon at the bottom of the bowl of jello without using your hands. Feel free to use a straw....

Kate gives up pretty quick  and Colin, well, he sucks real good...

August 30, 2010

The Rock Alarm is back indoors! Colin and Kate are doing some serious bowing to Rock Alarmers after the most successful K-Rock Food Drive thru the Valley.

22,500 pounds of food for our 10 Valley food banks.

Check out all the food drive pics!

August 23, 2010

The weekend that was.

Colin was invited to a Toga party. He may never get invited back! As you know, toga's don't leave much to the imagination... Colin is bad enough to imagine on a GOOD day!

August 20, 2010

100% of Rock Alarmers agree:
EVERYONE ELSE ON THE HIGHWAY IS BAD DRIVER!

It's true. It's a fact.

1) There's science behind the phenomenon of those drivers who go below the speed limit until you go to pass, then they speed up. It's optical sumthin', sumthin'. You don't realize how slow you are going until someone goes by you. Then you have something to compare your speed to and naturally speed up.

2) Drivers on the right hand side of the passing lane have the right-of-way when the passing lane comes to an end. Passers need to get in line with the rest of the traffic.

3) You don't need to slow down for Highway exits. You are supposed to enter those at highway speed.  

Get on your Rock Alarm soap box rockalarm@k-rock893.com

August 19, 2010

Turns out there's science behind that whole "beer goggle" thing.

Scientists say that we like faces that are symmetrical, but once we start having a few drinks, we can't tell the difference. Hence, BEER GOGGLES!

August 18, 2010

Should he stay or should he go? Who the heck would know - it's Viking's quarterback Brett Favre! He's back in Minnesota and so the KRock Houseband (aka Colin) came up with a little ditty. Click on Favre's face to check it out...

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The freakin' cuteness was overwhelming! At the Annapolis Valley Ex in Lawrencetown Kate lost her mind over two miniature donkeys.

Their names.......Moonshine and Muffin!!!! Kate's breakfast of champions --- liquor and carbs!

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A BBC weather guy gave the old 'one-fingered' wave to the news anchor. He didn't think the camera was on him and when he saw the red-light he tried to cover it up. He did a crappy job of it. He's been fired.

August 17, 2010

Poor, poor Jenny McCarthy. She says she has about a year left to wear revealing outfits.

37-year-old Jenny hosted an event in Las Vegas on the weekend in a totally hot outfit... or she fell into a pit of see-through material. Either way... guys! We win! Have a look.

One year left to wear this stuff??? How about 10 years!

August 16, 2010

K-Rock 3rd Annual Food Drive Countdown!

In just a week the whole K-Rock Krew will be on the road collecting food for our 10 Valley food banks. The game plan: 5 days! 10 Valley Food Banks! 20,000 pounds of food!

Global Pet Foods in New Minas is collecting pet food to help out families with pets that find themselves a bit short. We dropped by to give a few cans for Fido and Fluffy.

Be part of the K-Rock Food Drive

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This bit of brilliance just had to be shared. What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Nirvana????

THIS!!!

August 13, 2010 (FRIDAY 13TH)

Rock Alarmers decided there are cars that guys just can't look cool driving. Among them the PT Cruiser convertable. Fine to drive if the wife or girlfriend is with you, but not so good if you're with the boys going to the shooting range.

And, Kate thinks this is a dumb car to have if you really are a gangster. This leaves you wide open to police officers with guns. Bad gangster car!

Nothing like eating for a good cause. For the love of all that is right and good eat ice cream for the kiddies. It was Miracle Treat Day at DQ the other. All the Blizzard $$ went to the IWK health centre for kids. And, Mel Sampson and I figured it was only right to give of ourselves and help the children by eating blizzards.

August 12, 2010

Colin and Kate want this guy to come to their next birthday.

August 11, 2010

All disgruntled workers hail Steven Slater!
He's that FORMER JetBlue flight attendant who cursed out a passenger, grabbed a couple of beer off the drink cart, said "I quit" and deployed the emergency chute, went sliding down it. In his honour, the K-Rock House Band come up with this little ditty...

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Colin sure is lucky this guy is around to make him look good. The dude bailed on a foul ball and let it hit his girlfriend!

 Colin's Trophy Girlfriend is happy she's not an Astro's fan.

August 10, 2010

It's the BESTEST STORY EVER on the Rock Alarm today!

Allison Maher and her other half own Dempsey Corner Orchards in Kings County. Just before the long weekend her debit machine went down and so she wrote IOU's for four days.
Did she see any of that money ... click on the barn and take a listen....

August 9, 2010

Kate has become one of the cool kids. She's turfed the land line and gone all cellphone!

Now, what do with those old school phones around her place....

August 6, 2010

Tan lines! Colin is embarassed about his "V" tan line on his foot. What other BAD tan lines have you seen? Email Colin and Kate rockalarm@k-rock893.com

Maybe this is what Colin needs.

August 5, 2010

Colin has become a new fan of the TV show "Big Brother." In the show contestants can win the power of "veto" which allows them to overturn any decision they don't like. That got Colin thinking about who gets the power of veto in YOUR home. Let Colin and Kate know at rockalarm@k-rock893.com

August 4, 2010

It bugs Colin when he gets stuck behind those poeple who ride... err drive recumbent bikes. The ones you sit back on... like you're in a lounger! They wobble everywhere and when they're on highway 1 they insist on staying on the pavement! It's a busy road people!!! We're not sure if they're steering or about to fall over!
Yes! The bike is neat! When you're in the way... your bike is a pain in the a**!

August 3, 2010

Colin and Kate, admittedly, take TERRIBLE pictures. Here's Exhibit 'A', and it's the rule not the exception!

They recently did an interview for Bevboy's Blog http://www.bevboysblog.com/ and the pictures are horrific. Colin's eyes are closed, looks like he hasn't slept in a month and Kate's favourite zebra shirt will never be worn again. One big zebra across her stomach with a little zebra head along the bust-line is  NOT a good look.

Any words of wisdom on how to take a good picture...other than paper bags over their heads.... rockalarm@k-rock893.com

July 30, 2010

Kate was at taste-tester for the annual Mud Creek Chocolate Cake contest in Wolfville. They were even so kind as to give her a special bib so she didn't drool over herself and the cheesecakes!

Big kinda-long weekend in the Valley. Monday is Natal Day. It's a civic holiday, so that means banks and government offices are closed but a lot of other places are open.

Colin is hosting the big tent Haywire show in Windsor Saturday night. 1,500 tickets first come, first served. He's laid out his outfit already....

*** If it looks familiar it's because it's right from the Haywire album cover****

Drew Carey has lost a pound or two... OK! 70 to 80 pounds... just trying to make Kate feel better about her 11 pounds lost.

ANYWAY! He is much thinner than before but now he looks more like Orville Redenbocher. You decide!

 July 29, 2010

Colin came across a study that claimed "cougar-ism" is dead. It said 70% of women over the age of 35 wouldn't date a guy under 32. Kate said she wouldn't date a guy under 25...and then Nathan showed up! 20 years old. Volunteer fire fighter. Has a job, he works at Cornwallis Chev in New Minas.

Meet Kate's new pool boy!

Sadly Kate looks like the "hunch back of cougar-dome" in this picture, but Colin can't make fun because he got no babe in a bikini so he lives his Action Thursday in sadness -- hint, hint from Colin for next Action Thursday -- ladies with bikinis ;)

July 28, 2010

Are you this guy or girl??? There's nothing worse than trying to find a parking spot when the lot is full and this is what you see. Why do they think their car is so special that they need TWO spots????

If you see this, do what Colin does... pull right up to the driver's door as close as you can (without hitting it of course!) get out and wait for the driver to come back and then watch the hilarity ensue!!! Then, if they kick your car... YOU can sue THEM!!!

D-bag parking... if we pull together and try harder WE can stop this in it's tracks!

THE 3RD ANNUAL K-ROCK FOOD DRIVE

5 days.

10 Valley food banks.

20,000 pounds of food!

K-Rock is heading out on the road again this summer gathering up food for our local food banks. We're giving you the heads up so you can start getting your cans together. We'll be travelling through the Valley August 24th-28th. 

August 24: Berwick
August 25: Windsor
August 26: Kentville
August 27: Greenwood
August 28: New Minas
6AM-7PM

July 27, 2010

If you are going to try and sneak across the border... you might want to forget this idea. The U.S. Border Control found a guy trying to sneak into the U.S. disguised as a back seat in a mini van. This has to be the worst looking Transformer!

July 26, 2010

So, the Rock Alarm gets this pic from Saskatchewan. Prairie transplants, Will & Nancy Brown, who are from the Valley took a picture of a tornado that touched down about 15-minutes away from their place.

So, Darth Vader walks into a bank... sounds like the start to a bad joke, right?

This really happened! Darth walked away with some cash too! Check out the surveillance pics.

Anyone want to go half-ers on a castle in PEI? Okay it's not a real castle, there's no plumbing or heating or bedrooms, but there is a moat!!!!!

It's the Dunebane Castle from the old-school tourist attraction Woodleigh Replicas (remember the Tower of London with the plastic skeleton?). It's going for $139,000.

Colin and Kate were really cranky on Monday... then it got worse. They found out that The Price is Right is changing AGAIN! It was bad enough when Bob Barker retired. You see, with Bob there was consistency. The mountain climber went up the hill and you stopped him before he went over!

Now we have Drew Carey as host. He wants to have rotating comedian announcers doing improve skits! WTF??? Rod Roddy never had to be funny... because HE WASN'T!!!! He didn't need to be.... see Drew? Take a hint would ya!

July 23, 2010

 The Rock Alarm figured this was photo-shopped...a whale smashing into a boat, but turns out it was true...and it turns out the whale was seeking revenge.

When Whales Go Wild....click and enjoy....

 July 22, 2010

Got milk? If you do, you could make $3 an ounce... for BREAST milk that is! There is a group on Facebook that connects people who want to buy or sell said breast milk.

$3 an ounce!!! That's $99 a litre!!!!!!

Would you buy some or sell yours? rockalarm@k-rock893.com

Kate is thinking about getting a tattoo. Trouble is, she's too old to get something she might regret. It needs to have "meaning". It needs to be in a spot that defies gravity (she's not getting any younger). She's worried she'll end up with a TAT REGRET. Like this lady....

Do you have some ink that you wish was gone? Let us know at rockalarm@k-rock893.com and feel free to send a pic!

July 21, 2010

Who's this guy hanging out at Kate's house?

Kate has a huge fly problem. There are swarms of them at her house and she's not the only one. It seems like there's a bit of fly issue in Greenwich. So, she put out the SOS. 

1) Put a blown up paper bag with chopped chives in it over your door. The flies think it's a hornet nest and won't come around.

2) Fill a plastic baggie with water and put a penny in it. Hang that from your clothes-line or deck.

3) Get fly traps and fill them with cream soda.

4) Get a few dozen of these little guys and set 'em loose.....

or, as Colin suggested, plant a row of these...

July 20, 2010

It turned into stupid products Tuesday on the Rock Alarm.
Let's go shopping....

According to a survey, the hottest foreign accent is Italian. Colin, not so good at Italian... but he has tried to use his Scottish accent to pick up in a bar... it didn't work. Here's a product that could help. 

And, then there are the flying pasties so that the dudes and dudettes working those full body scanners at the aiport don't see your naughty bits.....

Kate would like a flying corset so that she looks skinny in the full body scanner.

And to top it all off....there's this, theVizKid. It sits on your passenager seat to remind you that your kids are in the backseat. That way you won't forget them and leave them in a hot car while you're drinking? gambling? stripping? Whatever it is that bad parents do these days!

If you can't remember Jr. is in the backseat how are you going to remember to put the tennis ball happy faced horn on your passenager seat?

July 19, 2010

Colin and Kate were in Bridgetown for the BASH on Friday and Kate picked up someone else's half-drank water off the sidewalk and slugged it back. It wasn't a bet, she grabbed the wrong water.

She claims it's a new low for her, drinking stranger's street water, but Colin figures she can go lower. Check out the great stuff left behind at the theatre that she can munch on....

Ever eat something super gross by mistake, tell us at rockalarm@k-rock893.com.

July 16, 2010

So you have something to talk about over drinks on your Friday  night...

WTF was this guy thinking? Check out the head-butt at the Tour de France...

Always wear your helmets kids!!!

John Daly has got the best clothes EVER (other than weather wizard Cindy Day -- but that's another bead-azzled story)

And, don't forget to vote for local movie maker Aaron Peerless. He's made a trailer for a movie that's leading the pack in an international movie trailer competition. It's just the trailer -- there's no movie --- but  now I want one...

July 15, 2010

Kate's brush with fame! Here she is hanging out with former Blue Jay Kelly Gruber at Boston Pizza in New Minas. She was hoping for a grope with fame, but alas, Gruber was well behaved.

Look at how freakin' cute Gruber is/was!

July 14, 2010

When you can't afford to go south and wasted at a swim-up pool in Cuba -- get your own for a fraction of the price...

How gross is this? Nothing like having the neighbours over to drink and pee in your pool. Colin thinks there should be a warning "FOR SWINGERS ONLY"!

TomTom GPS now has Yoda, C3P0 and Darth Vader to give you directions. It's a riot. Check it out:

 Crazy, crazy, crazy Mel Gibson! Here's a little K-Rock House Band ditty... "Talk Dirty to Me Mel"...click on the nutter and sing along...

July 13, 2010

 You see them but do you really think about them? Yes! We're talking about the lonely mile marker on the highway. Colin noticed them the other day and wondered what they were for.

Again, to the rescue, much smarter Rock Alarmers. These markers are used by emergency services to find points on the highway. So, instead of just looking between exit 10 and 11 they can go to mile marker 112. See? Much easier!

Check out Rock Alarmer Roxanne...

She gave us a ring from the "Regis and Kelly" show in PEI the other day. There were about 5,000 in the audience -- and Roxanne was among them. You know you've made it when your made into a cow on a Cows tee!

July 12, 2010

Peas and carrots, peanut butter and jam, spaghetti and meatballs... these things just go together just like Colin and Kate... now they're back at it... lock up the food in your kitchen!

It's been a three week break for them and they went back at it like always.

Kate has a small ant problem... like everyone else in the Valley this summer. As per usual, these two aren't bright enough to solve this problem. This is where much smarter Rock Alarmers come in.

The solution... ANT BE GONE!

This stuff works wonders... we're told... but who really want's to kill such a cute insect???

OK! They're pretty damn ugly!

July 9, 2010

Kate's "bestest" ever day on the Rock Alarm. Friday. Hot.Firday. Sunny. Friday. And, then Mike from Frito Lay shows up with a couple of new kinds of chips. Kate loves chips!

These are Late Night Doritos: Cheeseburger and Jalaopeno Pepper flavours. Breakfast of Champions on the Rock Alarm.

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First Larry King and now word that CTV anchorman Lloyd Roberston is set to retire. Robertson is 76-years old and has been with CTV for 35-years..and CBC 22 years before that...and then there were those guest spots on The Muppets...

July 8, 2010

IT'S HOT IN THE VALLEY!!!!

Another 30-degree day and that had the Rock Alarm talking cooling tips: basement and beer is the winner.

And, if you're wondering how Colin's vacay is going, here's a reasonable facsimile:

July 7, 2010

On this "To Tell the Truth Day" the Rock Alarm talked phobias.

What's the one thing you just can't handle? Maybe it's knowing there's a spider in the room, but you can't find it? (The husband outted) or maybe you are super afraid of FISH. That's right, FISH. Alive, dead, even in a picture. The husband Welsh cousin Rich is freaked out by FISH! Here he is getting a dead fish in a box for his birthday. Watch the World Cup kick at the end.....

July 6, 2010

Darrin is off to get a pedicure. The idea was to talk about whether or not it's manly to go to the spa, but instead Kate just freaked everyone out about Darrin's long-ish toenails.

Guess whose toenails are whose?

Although we guess it could be worse....

The World Hot Dog Federation (sadly there is one) wouldn't let frantic food eating champ Kobayashi into the Coney Island July 4th hot dog eating competition. Word is his "people" and the federation couldn't reach a deal. All of this video makes you scream out WTF!!!!!!

July 5, 2010

It's a messed up Monday on the Rock Alarm. Kate's back from vacay - Colin is celebrating Nude Recreation Week and so Darrin, who is not celebrating Nude Rec Week, at least not publicly (thank you court order) is hanging out.

Two things Kate wonders after her vacation : Why is it that 20 year olds don't know about maps? GPS voices don't know everything! And, why is there always a smelly person next to you on the plane? Mints and air freshener a must on all flights. Just toss them in their mouths when they are sleeping.

July 2, 2010

Here's hoping you had a great Canada Day. Fire works and hot dogs... best combo ever!

We're not sure why DC Comics is doing this but they feel the need to give Wonder Woman a makeover. Wasn't she hot enough? Now they're trying to improve on that! Have a look at this before and after.

Vote for your favorite. rockalarm@k-rock893.com

Just be thankful DC didn't go with this version!

June 30, 2010

 Parts of downtown Toronto closed down last weekend because of the G-20 summit. And now there's a video on YouTube of some crazy guy who stood outside a shopping mall and yelled because he couldn't get in.

(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)

What's great about it is, he probably just wanted to buy some jeans. But HE thought he was protesting something SIGNIFICANT.

June 29, 2010

Queen Elizabeth is visiting Nova Scotia. It's not every day she comes here. It's also not every day that the average person gets to visit with the Queen either. This may be the only chance you get to talk to her. What would you ask Queen Elizabeth?

Send your question: rockalarm@k-rock893.com

Yesterday a Marilyn Monroe chest X-ray sold for $45,000. Meanwhile the Dr's note saying Colin has a mild case of the shingles just sits on eBay!

This might explain why...

June 28, 2010

The Lovely Mel Sampson has set a few world records... would she be up for this one??

It's a rainy Monday! Want to make it better? Visit the best website in the world. It involves the best food in the world... BACON!

There's even bacon desserts! Like the bacon moon pie!

It's bacontoday.com

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Bacon!